Not dead

Hi everyone!

I haven’t been around for a LONG time. Not to be a downer, but I’ll just be straightforward with you. Lots of things have happened in the mean time. Good things, but also different not so good things that pretty much lead to a long period of depression and existential angst. Not so much fun, but it is the truth. So at some point polishing my nails was the least I could worry about. Let alone keeping up my blog.

I am sorry, though, that I couldn’t pull myself together to at least give you a heads-up of where I suddenly went or what was going on. There was a lot on my mind at the time. And to be honest I never thought I’d be gone for this long! Several times I tried to sit down to write you a post along the lines of “Hey, I’m alive, don’t worry. I miss you and I’ll be back soon.”, but it just never happened and after a while it just felt too awkward to say anything at all. Isn’t that weird?


As time passed and I started to feel better again, I also started to do my nails again. It’s surprising how much joy that little bit of color on the tip of your fingers can bring. And one day I realised it was time to come back to blog. I’ve really missed everything; the creativity, the community, the sharing, the glitter… (I hadn’t painted my nails for over a year!) Reading your thoughtful messages every now and then really lifted my spirits. So thank you for that. :)

Now this wouldn’t be a comeback without nails to show right?


This mani is for my friend Bas, who I promised a mani ages ago on the day we bought the greyish blue color together. It's #05 from Hema, which I used for the base color. On top I applied a bunch of simple strokes, using Be optimistic! from Essence, OPI Russian Navy and H&M Silver. I love how the warm copper pops against the other cool tones. So there you go, Bas!

On another note, you may have noticed that the blog went through a little makeover. I actually designed the whole look myself and had my boyfriend help out with bringing everything to life in code. We've worked really hard to make everything look good and work as friendly as possible, so feel free to let us know what you think about it!

That's it for today. But I will talk to you again very soon. Thanks for reading!

67 comments

  1. I'm VERY glad your feeling better and that your back. Your work is so beautiful and clean, I'm so excited to see your new Nail Art! I like the color combination of this post! I hope everything keeps going well. Cammie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, Cammie!

      Delete
  2. Welcome back and glad you're feeling better! Great mani :-) x

    ReplyDelete
  3. So happy to see you back. I found a lot of inspiration in your designs. And now- with your honesty and perseverance. A lot of people have dark periods and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. You are coming out the other side of darkness. It's nice to see you posting again. Your latest design- love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Alison, for your kind words and your powerful message of not having to be ashamed or embarrassed. This can't be stressed enough! X

      Delete
  4. I'm so happy to see your return to blogging! I've followed you for 2-3 years now so I'm so excited. I'm also really glad you're doing and feeling better. I've felt depressed for a while too so I know where you're coming from. Best of luck to this new chapter in your life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, 2-3 years is quite a while! Thanks for your kind words. And I'm glad to hear you are doing better now too! :)

      Delete
  5. I'm so happy to see you back and even happier to learn you are doing fine.
    Hugs and best wishes from Buenos Aires!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Eva, thank you! Never had hugs & wishes all the way from Buenos Aires before, awesome :D

      Delete
  6. I'm so happy you're back and you're feeling better.
    I'm sorry you went through a dark period. I've been there too and I completely understand why you needed the time to come to terms with everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stalker_Magnet, thank your for understanding. :) I'm sad to hear you've been there too, it's a terrible thing. I hope you are doing fine now! X

      Delete
  7. So glad you're back, and so glad you're ok now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gladys, thank you for your comment! :)

      Delete
  8. So happy to see you back! I missed you and your manis!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I'm happy to BE back, haha. Thanks, Kristina!

      Delete
  9. Wow too random. I forgot all about your blog, long before your hiatus (just because I am never really on my computer anymore!). Today I just randomly opened my bookmarks and your site was the first I opened because I missed looking at all of your pretty designs! SO crazy that today was the first day you have posted in 2 years and also the same time I checked back in (it is still technically the 4th, I haven't gone to bed yet haha). I believe in fate and all of that and I have struggled with depression and all of that fun stuff myself and finally have been feeling better. I don't know what forces sent me to you but I just had to say hi and if you ever need a friend I would love to get to know you :) I am in the beauty industry myself and have learned some amazing techniques for dealing with stress, anxiety and depression I can definitely share!! xoxoxo so glad you are back. the site looks gorgeous and those nails are amazing!!!!!! mwah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristen, what a nice story! That is so crazy indeed, haha. I think it would be fun to stay in touch, are you on Tumblr by any chance?

      Delete
  10. I think the above comments say it all! Welcome back, so glad you are feeling better and up to nails and blogging. Lovely mani, so you! You were one of the first nail blogs I ever started reading and learned so much. Take care! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahww :3 Thank you, Cassandra. This means a lot to me! X

      Delete
  11. Welcome back! I started following you in 2011 and often think of you when I do tape manis as I think of you add the queen of them :-) all the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jayne! That's so sweet! (Crazy similar names by the way, haha. My last name is Lam.) All the best to you too. :)

      Delete
  12. Really happy to see you're doing better and coming back, hun! Lovin' the new blog look - it's great!! *hugs

    ReplyDelete
  13. So, so happy to see you back! Your designs are always inspiring! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad to hear this! Thank you, Elina :)

      Delete
  14. Welcome back! I'm so glad to learn you're doing well! You are one of a very small number of nail artists who inspired me to start painting my nails. I blame my ever growing nail polish stash on you lol. I've thought about you during your hiatus and I'm so so glad that you're back. Signed, a loyal fan ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks you so much, Musiqstr for you sweet message. That's too kind! Hope I can make you very happy with all the new posts to come! X

      Delete
  15. It's so good, to read something from you! I'm glad, you're back and that you're doing well!
    It's totally up to you when you wanna write something or even when you don't want to blog for month or years! But I defo can't wait to see more of you and your nails. :)

    And yes, I really love how the desing turned out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very happy to hear this. Thank you, Danny! Also wanted to say that I think your nails look even more superb than I can remember. Oh my! <3

      Delete
  16. Glad to see you again, and even more so the hear that you're feeling better.

    Nail-painting does help lift spirits up :) !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ana! Apparently it does :) Thanks for leaving such a sweet message! X

      Delete
  17. Welcome back! So nice to know you are ok, your nail girls are always here for you :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahw, thanks! You guys are the best :))

      Delete
  18. I've always loved your blog, you really inspired me a lot back then! It's so nice to see you back and blogging! :) Great to hear you feel better! Can't wait to see more posts from you :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Welcome back dear,

    It gets hard, I know that is easier said than done! There are ups and downs and lot more downs and curveballs, but when I saw your "I'll be back" facebook page, I really hoped you were okay, not just as a blogger or nail guru, but as a human being. I am really glad you're back, and I hope you're in for the long run. Maybe the battle is not over, maybe you have conquered - I don't know, but I hope you have Supports that you trust, that care about you whether online or offline. : )

    From,
    AnonAnon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anon! Thanks for your comment. I was very moved by it. It describes some of the things I think about myself. Because yes, it's not going to be easy. I frankly don't know if the battle will ever be truly over, but the difference between now and a while back, is that I feel vital again and that I'm at least giving a shot at the things I always used to enjoy doing. Knowing this, and getting strength out of thoughtful words like yours and all the comments on this page does make things a bit easier. Thanks again!

      Delete
  20. Yeeey! I'm happy you're back :) I don't polish my nails very often these days but I still enjoy you're pretty nail arts :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad to be back and also that you're still enjoying my nail art! Thanks for dropping by, Helga! X

      Delete
  21. Welcome back! Now I can see more awesome designs.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Very glad to see you back! I have sent you a message on Instagram as I first saw your account there (I'm @polilish) but my Instagram has been buggy so I thought I would comment here too. In particular the app is not registering who I'm following, so I'm sorry if you've been getting a bunch of notifications from me trying to follow you! Anyway, sending you best wishes for the future. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello LL / Polilish! Thanks for your comment. I've also received your message on Instagram and actually replied this morning, so I'm hoping your buggy Instagram did receive it, haha. Love!

      Delete
  23. I'm so happy to see that you're back! It's funny since I was recently looking for nailinspiration and I thought, hmm what about that blog that I used to follow for a while? And then suddenly I saw your update on Facebook! Glad to see that you're back and I hope you continue to do well. Great to have you back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, leanonlien! Such a coincidence :D

      Delete
  24. Ah great, welcome back! I'm always saying, that private life is way more important than Blogging (as long it's not your job for a living), so it's totally fine to take a break!
    I really like the nailart! The design is quite simple, but the colours are great and it looks fantastic!
    What makes me smile: i cleaned my list in feedly lately, and decided not to 'delete' your blog, because i hoped that maybe one day you'll start again. Lucky me ^^.
    And i like the new design! (I wanted to redesign my blog as well, but i'm sooo lazy, shame on me)
    Greetings :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nyxx, thanks for your kind comment :) And for keeping my blog in your Feedly, haha!

      Delete
  25. I was so excited to see a post from you pop up in my RSS feed! Sorry to hear that you were going through some tough times, but I'm glad you're back and looking forward to reading more. The new site looks great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Stephanie! Happy to hear this :D

      Delete
  26. P.S. I get so many compliments every time I do the cloud nails, and it always makes me think of you and your blog. Thanks! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are awesome and your readers have really missed you and your wonderful skills!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jen! Thank you! This really means a lot to me :3

      Delete
  28. I'm so happy to see you back!!!! <3

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ooooh, so nice to see you around again! I am sorry you had all of these things to deal with but I am happy you made it through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your sweet comment, Deborah!

      Delete
  30. I am beyond excited to see your back! Your work made me fall in love with nail polish all over again & seeing all the cool things you did with tape amazed me. Glad to see you back & feeling better :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kris! Thanks so much for your message and for still visiting my blog after all this time! :)

      Delete
  31. Hi Jane!! So good to have you back! Ik kwam een hele tijd terug nog regelmatig op je site voor inspiratie (zoals ook weer nu!), maar de updates kwamen niet meer..
    Vervelend om te horen dat je een nare periode achter de rug hebt gehad. Blij om te horen dat het beter met je gaat. Ik zal je ook weer actief gaan volgen..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Deb! Bedankt voor je berichtje en wat super cool dat je me nog volgt ^_^

      Delete
  32. YAYYYY IM SO GLAD YOURE BACKKK. I used to check like once a week while you were gone and eventually I gave up. I legitimately worried you were dead. Today for some reason I randomly decided to check and I was overjoyed to see you are back.

    ReplyDelete